


darling I fancy you

by complicationstoo



Series: STB Bingo Round One [19]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Italian Tony Stark, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Misunderstandings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29974614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/complicationstoo/pseuds/complicationstoo
Summary: Steve has had a plan for April fifteenth for months now. He’s finally back in New York tonight, officially done with the semester abroad in London that he and Natasha started in January. He loved England, but after months of conversations through text and brief phone calls alone, he just wants the taxi from the airport to drive faster to take him back home. Back to Tony, who Steve has been in love with for the better part of four years and is finally ready to tell how he feels.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: STB Bingo Round One [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037892
Comments: 23
Kudos: 171
Collections: STB Bingo: Round One





	darling I fancy you

**Author's Note:**

> For the free space in Steve | Tony | Bucky Bingo
> 
> title is from london boy by taylor swift

Steve has had a plan for April fifteenth for months now. He’s finally back in New York tonight, officially done with the semester abroad in London that he and Natasha started in January. He loved England, but after months of conversations through text and brief phone calls alone, he just wants the taxi from the airport to drive faster to take him back home. Back to Tony, who Steve has been in love with for the better part of four years and is finally ready to tell how he feels. 

“Relax, Steve,” Natasha says, reaching across the seat to put her hand on his jiggling knee. Steve hums, worrying his lip between his teeth. She flicks his cheek to make him stop. “He’ll say yes.”

“I know he will,” he says, even though he isn’t sure of it at all. But Natasha refuses to entertain the idea that Tony doesn’t feel the same about him, and he isn’t in the mood to have somewhere else flicked, too. She thinks it’s a surefire thing and has been for years, since that day she introduced them at that terrible frat party on campus. There’s another party tonight, a welcome home that Tony first mentioned almost a month ago, and Steve knew for sure then that today would be the right time. A full circle from that first day when they were just freshmen with no idea where they were going in life to the near graduates with their futures laid out in front of them. If it goes wrong now, he can always run back to the other side of the world. 

The taxi pulls up outside of Steve and Bucky’s apartment building, and Steve’s heart leaps into his throat. He can see the shadows of people through the window on the third floor and knows the tiny apartment is packed to maximum capacity. Smiling to himself, Steve hauls his bag out of the back of the taxi, then hands Natasha hers. She’s refused his help with it a hundred times already, and he knows better than to ask again. 

Things are already in full swing when they walk in, and Natasha ditches her bag in the doorway to sneak up on her unsuspecting boyfriend. He’s distracted by watching Bucky jump half a foot when an arm drapes over his own shoulder, and he only gets a momentary glance at Tony’s grinning face before the smile gets tucked into his neck with a hug. He wraps his arms tight around him, burying his face into his hair and breathing in deep. His eyes fall shut automatically as the fragrant scent of Tony’s expensive shampoo fills his nose. 

“Did you bring me presents?” Tony asks, and Steve laughs. He pulls back enough to see his face, and his heart stutters at the sight. “You left me for four months. I deserve presents for surviving that.”

“Of course I brought you presents,” Steve grins. Natasha mocked him for just how much time he put into them and the quantity, but they are part of the plan, too. He’ll give them to Tony after everyone leaves for the night. Tony will stay after under the guise of helping to clean up, just like always, and Natasha will convince Bucky to go back to her place so they can be alone. They’ll spend two minutes actually cleaning before Tony declares that it can wait until the morning, and Steve will give in even easier than usual. The presents are mostly little things - a stuffed bear from one of those tourist shops, a few small boxes of tea that Tony will claim that he’ll never drink, but he’ll actually make on those nights he can’t sleep, a keychain with a science pun that Steve had to google to understand. He spent his last few hours in London wrapping everything in tissue paper and tying them with ribbon. Tony will unwrap them all, and then Steve will tell him that he wants them to be more than friends. He’s had the exact words planned out for weeks now, and Natasha definitely heard him practicing in the shower one night. He could hear her suppressed laughter when he shut the water off. 

Tony steps back, hand running down Steve’s arm until he reaches his hand to drag him further in. “Come on, London Boy, let’s get you a drink.”

The weight of Tony’s hand in his is the best feeling after all these months away. He missed the little things like this while he was gone, like the way Tony bends down to be eye level with the glass when he mixes things together for Steve, pouring slow, exact amounts like it’s an experiment. In a way it is, because Steve has never had this combination before. Tony hands it to him and awaits his reaction with his bottom lip between his teeth while Steve takes a small sip.

“Well?”

Steve holds back his grimace while he forces it down. “It’s good.”

Tony’s face breaks into a grin that makes the horrible taste of whatever he’s drinking worth it. “I’ve been practicing on Clint while you were gone. I think I’m getting pretty good at it.”

“You sure are.” It’s easy to tell the lie when Tony looks at him like that. “You’ll be a master mixologist in no time.”

Tony puts his elbow on the counter, leaning in closer to Steve. His eyes are so bright, and Steve almost forgot just how easy it is to get lost in them. He looks like he’s about to say something when a woman’s hand lands on his arm. 

“Oh, hey, you made it after all,” Tony says to her, straightening up. He kisses her cheek, and Steve feels the smile falling from his own face. 

“Sorry I’m late,” she says, and she turns to Steve to hold out her hand. It’s only instinct that lets him respond to shake it. “Hi, I’m Pepper. You must be Steve.”

“Uh, yeah, that’s - that’s me.” He glances between them, at the arm that’s now wrapped around Pepper’s waist and her hand on his back. “How, um, how do you two know each other?”

Steve is dreading the answer as he asks the question. Of course he found someone else while Steve was gone. Someone like Tony doesn’t stay single for long. Someone who’s beautiful and kind and smart doesn’t spend months waiting around for someone who never said how he felt to come home. He shouldn’t even be surprised, yet he still doesn’t anticipate the answer he ends up with. 

Tony’s smile turns a little sheepish. “Pepper and I are engaged.”

“Engaged,” Steve repeats, nearly choking on the word. Once he’s spotted the ring on her left hand it’s nearly impossible to look away. It’s a good size. A pear cut diamond that reflects all the light in the room right back at him. “You’re - how - when did that happen?”

Pepper turns to Tony with a smile and a raised eyebrow. “I thought you told him.”

“I was going to,” Tony says, nearly mumbling it as he rubs the back of his neck. “We just haven’t gotten the chance to talk much.”

Steve is starting to feel sick, his eyes prickling and throat constricting. There’s too little air in the kitchen, and he knows if he stays for any longer he’s going to have a very public breakdown. 

“Congratulations. I’m really happy for you,” he forces out, plastering a smile on his face that he hopes Tony can’t see through. Setting his drink down on the counter, he takes a step back and continues, “I haven’t gotten to see Bucky yet, so I think I’m going to go make the rounds and catch back up with you later. It was nice meeting you, Pepper, and congrats again.”

He turns as quickly as he can, going into the living room. He uses Natasha’s vibrant hair to find Bucky, but he realizes as he’s walking that he doesn’t want to go over there. Natasha will ask what’s wrong, and he’ll have to say out loud that Tony is marrying someone else. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle the pity on her face that she won’t quite be able to mask.

It’s cowardly, he realizes, when he sneaks out of the apartment without saying another word to anyone. He hesitates in the hallway for just a moment before opening the door to the stairwell and heading up. 

The roof is a bit of a mess when he gets up there, cluttered with dead leaves leftover from the fall and someone’s cigarette butts. Wind sweeps them up in swirls, then drops them back down. It cuts through his jacket and leaves him cold, but he’s already numb enough to barely feel it. The fold out chair he put up there when he moved in three years ago is still there, worn and weathered and creaking a bit when he drags it closer to the ledge so he can look out at the city. It feels almost like it might break under his weight, but he takes the risk. 

He stares at nothing for a long while. There’s comfort in the way that everything looks the same from up here. The peeling billboard on the building down the street is still there, missing half of a face and every other letter. There’s still the neon green curtains in the window of the apartment across the alley, and broken christmas lights hang from the building’s roof, just like they were before he left in January. Everything is just how he left it, except none of it feels the same. 

Steve stays up there in his rickety chair for a long time, just thinking. The missed opportunities cycle through his mind, like sophomore year after they pulled that all-nighter studying for a history exam. Tony fell asleep at around six in the morning in Steve’s bed, and he smiled so softly at Steve when he woke up. Or that night after Tony and Ty broke up, and Tony came over to drink and curse his name. Steve almost told him that he could treat him better than Ty ever did if he just gave him the chance to try. 

The sun has long gone down by the time that he reaches last December in his mind. It was two weeks before he was supposed to go to London, and they were celebrating Christmas early before everyone else went home for the holiday. All of their friends were over that night, eating burnt attempts at sugar cookies and overly spiked eggnog, and Tony was next to him on the cramped couch while some old Christmas movie played. He’d moved closer throughout the night, until his thigh was pressed against Steve’s and his head had come to rest on Steve’s shoulder at some point. His laughter was soft in Steve’s ear, and he didn’t move away even when everyone else had started to trickle out. 

There was a long moment where it felt like they were on the precipice of something. Steve could have just tilted his head down a bit, and Tony’s lips would have been right there beneath his own. He could have slid his arms around Tony’s shoulders, pulled him in closer and held him like he’s always wanted. But the channel changed to one of those late night infomercials eventually, and he couldn’t pretend anymore that they were still just watching movies. Tony went back to his own apartment, and Steve laid awake staring at his ceiling for most of the night. There was never a reason not to do it, other than his own insecurities. And now he’s lost the chance for good. 

He hears it when people leave the party. Their voices carrying down the sidewalk, and taxis pull up and take off. They leave in waves, until it’s been almost thirty minutes since he last heard anyone go at all, and Steve decides he needs to go back eventually. He folds the chair back up, returning it to its corner, and slips back through the door. 

All the lights in the apartment are still on, but only the mess is left behind, it seems. Even Bucky seems to be gone, taken by Natasha even though the rest of the plan has already gone to hell. He entertains the thought of cleaning up the scattered cups and greasy paper plates before deciding he just doesn’t care. He’s exhausted in equal parts from travel and heartache, and he just wants the world’s longest, hottest shower before crawling into his bed for the next week at least. 

His bedroom door is open a crack, some light spilling out, and he frowns at it before pushing it the rest of the way open with his elbow. 

Tony is sitting on the edge of his bed, leaning forward on his elbows with his chin in his hand. He straightens when Steve walks in, a mixture of emotions running across his face.

“Hi,” he says after a few seconds. 

“What are you still doing here?” Steve asks. “Thought everyone had already left.” 

“Everyone but me,” Tony says. “Couldn’t go without making sure you were okay. You didn’t come back like you said you would. Well, you didn’t make the rounds like you said you would, either. Where’d you go?”

Steve shrugs. “Just needed some air.”

“Right. Air,” Tony repeats flatly. 

Steve hovers awkwardly in the doorway, unsure of himself entirely. He doesn’t want to be that guy. The person that only says something when it’s too late, when the other is already happy with someone else. He won’t ruin Tony’s happiness with his own misery. Not when Tony deserves all of the happiness in the world, even if it isn’t with him. 

“Well, now that you’ve seen for yourself that I’m okay, I guess you should be getting back home to your fiancée.” His smile is so fake that it hurts, but he hopes it’s convincing enough.

“I meant to tell you differently than that. I meant,” Tony breaks off with a sigh. “I didn’t mean to spring it on you.”

Steve shrugs again, “It’s alright. I mean, you never even mentioned you were seeing someone, but as long as you’re happy.”

“No, it’s not alright.”

“It is,” Steve insists, because he just wants this night to be over. 

“It’s really not.”

“Tony, it doesn’t matter. You don’t owe me an explanation. You met someone, you fell in love, you got engaged. I do generally know how it goes,” Steve attempts to joke, but Tony shakes his head. 

“Not quite how it went.”

Steve’s forced smile tightens further. “You’ll have to tell me some time, then. Some other night, though. I think the jet lag is starting to kick in, so.”

“Listen to me, please,” Tony says, a touch of pleading to his tone, and Steve falls quiet as Tony stands from the bed to walk over to him. “I met someone, we became friends, I fell in love.”

Steve’s heart clenches, and his jaw tightens, but Tony continues, “But then he went to London and I realized my student visa is expiring while he was gone.”

“What?” Steve frowns, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

Tony sighs, running a hand through his hair, “I’m not a citizen.”

“You - what?”

“I was born in Italy.”

“Yeah, but you’ve always lived here,” Steve says, not understanding. He knows Tony splits the summers between Italy and New York, always returning tanned and gorgeous. But he also knows that Tony doesn’t even have a trace of an accent, and he went to one of those private boarding schools somewhere out west most of his life. 

“Not as an actual citizen, and my visa is up soon, and Pepper is a good friend who offered to make it look real enough,” Tony says, offering another one of those chagrined smiles. “I said yes because I didn’t know what else to do, and honestly, I didn’t think that I had anything else to lose by doing it. Not until you left tonight, and Natasha told me why.”

Steve stands there, mouth opening and shutting as he tries to comprehend this. “You’re not in love with her.”

“Not even a little.”

“You’re marrying her to get citizenship.”

“I became a criminal while you were gone, yes.”

Steve laughs, but it cuts off when the rest sinks in. “And you’re actually in love with me.” This statement is less sure than the others, almost a question with the way he says it, but Tony smiles. 

“Yeah, and from what I’ve heard you’re pretty far gone on me, too.”

“Since two months after we met,” Steve says. “When you walked into the library in my sweatshirt, and I realized that I wanted to see you like that always.”

Tony takes another step forward, and all the distance between them is practically gone. He reaches for Steve’s hand and asks, “Was that supposed to be part of the speech?”

Steve sighs, but the smile on his face as Tony pulls his other hand into his as well betrays him, “Did Nat tell you about that, too?”

“She told me that you spent almost an hour in that tea store for me.”

“It was more than that, actually. I changed my mind on one of them and went back without her,” Steve admits, looking down at their hands to watch the way Tony’s thumbs rub circles into his skin. 

“I’m sorry I ruined your plan,” Tony murmurs. “I would have really liked it.”

“I should have said something earlier.”

“Me too.”

Steve looks back up, and Tony’s lips are right there again, but this time he actually does something about it. He drops one of Tony’s hands to cup his cheek instead, tilting his face up while he leans down. Tony’s lips are soft, and they part so easily for Steve to taste him. His hand finds the hem of Steve’s t-shirt and slips beneath it, fingertips just touching his skin. It’s everything he’s wanted for years, even if the circumstances are nothing like he could have envisioned. 

“Don’t marry her,” Steve whispers when they part. 

Tony smiles, “Do you know anybody else who would be willing?”

“Yeah,” Steve says. “I think I know a guy.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr [@ifmywishescametrue](https://ifmywishescametrue.tumblr.com) :)


End file.
